even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize