So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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