If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
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