i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
You dont lie about slip and slides
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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