I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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