He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
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ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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