This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
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