check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
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