Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
