At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Randomize
