Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Randomize
