Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
Randomize
