Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
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