my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Randomize
