I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Randomize
