im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
