Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
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Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
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