Texts From Last Night

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  (248): View more from Michigan

  3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?

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  (248) 3:38a: you guys up to anything right now? http://tfl.nu/ssfd
  Replies (9) Good night (1616) Bad night (986)
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  (713): View more from Texas

  I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...

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  (713): I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you... http://tfl.nu/rwlo
  Replies (19) Good night (2580) Bad night (598)
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  (904): View more from Florida

  the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants

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  (904): the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants http://tfl.nu/u4r0
  Replies (7) Good night (5944) Bad night (658)
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  (713): View more from Texas

  Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together

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  (713): Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together http://tfl.nu/dsi2
  Replies (6) Good night (3404) Bad night (698)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??

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  (513): How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last?? http://tfl.nu/wkzl
  Replies (9) Good night (1020) Bad night (2783)
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.

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  (440): Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies. http://tfl.nu/iuff
  Replies (14) Good night (2329) Bad night (1834)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.

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  (724): He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober. http://tfl.nu/f1xw
  Replies (6) Good night (830) Bad night (1853)
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  (310): View more from California

  She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.

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  (310): She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked. http://tfl.nu/yes9
  Replies (13) Good night (5135) Bad night (680)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.

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  (908): But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying. http://tfl.nu/oo2a
  Replies (14) Good night (601) Bad night (1314)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong

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  (410): Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong http://tfl.nu/3qt9
  Replies (2) Good night (709) Bad night (264)
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  (907): View more from Alaska

  I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.

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  (907): I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes. http://tfl.nu/mxr7
  Replies (6) Good night (920) Bad night (313)
• Favorite

  (831): View more from California

  sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing

  (408): View more from California

  it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"

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  (831): sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing (408): it's like you just said "i want you to suffer" http://tfl.nu/wbp5
  Replies (0) Good night (554) Bad night (313)
• Favorite

  (416): View more from Toronto

  He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.

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  (416): He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco. http://tfl.nu/xwo8
  Replies (4) Good night (608) Bad night (340)
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  (309): View more from Illinois

  trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit

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  (309): trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit http://tfl.nu/sld4
  Replies (3) Good night (902) Bad night (366)
• Favorite

  (850): View more from Florida

  If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now

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  (850): If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now http://tfl.nu/v3ja
  Replies (1) Good night (482) Bad night (225)

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