Texts From Last Night

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  (913): View more from Kansas

  are you going to last longer than 15 seconds

  (1-913): View more from Kansas

  nope

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  (913): are you going to last longer than 15 seconds (1-913): nope http://tfl.nu/rdaj
  Replies (34) Good night (1336) Bad night (6369)
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  (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!

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  (321): right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!! http://tfl.nu/ghmc
  Replies (32) Good night (6194) Bad night (1620)
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?

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  (480): Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back? http://tfl.nu/wmx0
  Replies (66) Good night (1988) Bad night (3470)
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  (856): View more from New Jersey

  Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning

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  (856): Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning http://tfl.nu/91gn
  Replies (6) Good night (2184) Bad night (1044)
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  (585): View more from New York

  yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.

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  (585): yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign. http://tfl.nu/yitg
  Replies (10) Good night (3263) Bad night (908)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too

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  (412): apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too http://tfl.nu/j3jp
  Replies (10) Good night (3096) Bad night (1002)
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  (971): View more from Oregon

  Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?

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  (971): Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics? http://tfl.nu/fki4
  Replies (9) Good night (1389) Bad night (673)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.

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  (410): my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation. http://tfl.nu/rbh2
  Replies (1) Good night (623) Bad night (405)
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  (708): View more from Illinois

  Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.

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  (708): Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later. http://tfl.nu/hn0j
  Replies (1) Good night (660) Bad night (314)
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.

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  (202): We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer. http://tfl.nu/6uoe
  Replies (2) Good night (1099) Bad night (331)
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  (319): View more from Iowa

  I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.

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  (319): I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you. http://tfl.nu/2phb
  Replies (6) Good night (697) Bad night (362)
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  (907): View more from Alaska

  Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.

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  (907): Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping. http://tfl.nu/bd2j
  Replies (2) Good night (636) Bad night (359)
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  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.

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  (715): My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick. http://tfl.nu/97n3
  Replies (5) Good night (1093) Bad night (369)
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  (315): View more from New York

  she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho

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  (315): she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho http://tfl.nu/b0zw
  Replies (4) Good night (760) Bad night (309)
• Favorite

  (619): View more from California

  You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.

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  (619): You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off. http://tfl.nu/vzep
  Replies (1) Good night (89) Bad night (238)

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