Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.