I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.