Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(647): View more from Ontario

Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.

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(863): View more from Florida

sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it

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(817): View more from Texas

she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'

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(781): View more from Massachusetts

Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...

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17 of the Dumbest Defenses Heard in Court
Read it at the TFLN blog
(519): View more from Ontario

You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard

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(847): View more from Illinois

You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day

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(301): View more from Maryland

They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."

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(276): View more from Virginia

I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic

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(206): View more from Washington

Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.

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