So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
