Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
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I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
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The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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