my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
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