Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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