she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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