I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
soo... how was my night?
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