and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
