five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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