this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Randomize
