I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
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Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
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The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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