More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Randomize
