Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Randomize
