I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Randomize
