don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
