He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Randomize
