At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
