just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?