He is an equal opportunity slut.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?