He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
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Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
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Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.