Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Randomize
