You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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