whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
