I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
