ya dads aren't the best wingmen
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
She announced her abortion via fbk
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
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