Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
