I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
Randomize
