for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
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A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
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I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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