His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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