If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
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