Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Randomize