Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
