New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
