I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
