Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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