If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Randomize
