John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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