so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
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