Acid is not a monday night drug
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
