508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Randomize
