I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Randomize
