Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Randomize